Do you ever think, “How do I deal with my children, who insist on getting my attention when I am working?”
Ok, I’ll admit, I didn’t really want to do this topic. But if I didn’t this training would really be incomplete. Because I think children are about the 3rd biggest distraction to building your business (incessant emails and spouses are the top 2).
And I also know that in this email I am going to offend people. Maybe you.
You see, in the prior emails, it’s been about you, or in the email about your spouse, it was a clear cut solution.
And I didn’t have to call your problem (ok here it comes) with your spouse not letting you work in peace for what it really is…a boundary issue in your life and theirs.
Because I just gave you a solution that works.
But the reason that it works is that it re-establishes boundaries in your relationship with your husband or your wife. By choosing to spend less, but more efficient, time online, and more, more focused time with them.
And it is the same with children.
You see, children need boundaries.
They need to know what is ok and what is not. Of course a problem occurs when nothing is OK.
Just like with your husband or your wife, if you spend ALL your time online, then they feel jilted, jealous, like you don’t care about them, so on.
So they nag and bug you incessantly, stopping only when you stop working online to give them attention.
And the bugging works. You stop, they get attention.
So how do you change this?
Ok, let me say this first…I’m no child psychologist. But there are plenty of great parenting books out there that deal with the boundaries issue…and if you are struggling with this, you need m ore than an email from me. I suggest you go to amazon and spend $100 on some books on the topic. You won’t agree with everything you read, but after reading 5 – 10 books on the topic of boundaries and children, you will find yourself much more empowered to create boundaries and get excellent results from them.
But…having said that…I know I can’t leave you hanging with no solution. But please understand this isn’t going to be as clear but as the spouse solution I gave in the last email.
The idea here is going to be similar as with your spouse.
If your children are old enough to listen to reason, you will use the same technique as with your spouse, it goes something like this: “Johnny, mommy has been spending a lot of time on the computer lately, and not enough time with you, right? “But I’d like to change that. So instead of working for hours and hours at a time, we’re going to alternate. You and I can do anything you want for an hour, then I’ll work for an hour and you’ll do whatever you want by yourself. Then I’ll spend an hour with you, and so on.
“Would you like that?
“Ok, great…the only thing is, for this to work, mommy’s not going to answer her phone every time it rings when we are playing, you like that? And in exchange, when I’m working for the hour, you aren’t going to interrupt me. That’s a fair exchange, right?”
Here’s the thing…depending on the age of your child (and how out of control your boundaries are) this will work.
Of course, it may need to be repeated and reinforced, and your normal methods of behavior modification might have to be invoked some initially, and of course you MUST hold up your end of the bargain. If you agree not to answer your phone when playing, you CANNOT. If you do, you destroy all trust. And then this won’t work.
And might I repeat…if all this is new to you…buy a few books TODAY on amazon.
Now, if your child is younger than able to understand what I’ve just shared, then I suggest you get a few books on parenting with boundaries, and learn the techniques. Although you should be getting a fee l for how “boundaries” work in life, with your spouse, your children, and others, the complete concept and philosophy of boundaries is too much for a few emails from me…and I truly suggest you invest in a few books on the topic…just go to amazon and search for “boundaries and parenting” and invest $100…it will be well worth it when your entire life becomes more “under control” as you implement boundaries throughout your life.
In fact, as I write this, I realize that having firm boundaries in my life is one reason I am able to be so focused in my entire business.
Having boundaries allows me to work effectively amidst family pressures, people constantly sending me emails, the phone ringing, and so on.
And I believe that when you master boundaries in your life…your internet business will come together much easier.
So just do it…buy the books, learn and master the boundaries concept in your life…and succeed!